Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Skinny genes and the curse of the narrow foot

My entire life I have been skinny and blessed with narrow feet, abnormally small left nostril, and bad skin. Not awkward at all.  But eh, you do the best you can with what you've got, right? I attribute this physical awkwardness, primarily to my parental units (thanks, by the way). Now don’t get me wrong, I do not suffer from self- confidence issues, perhaps breathing issues and lack of cute shoes, but that’s kind of expected given the circumstances, don’t you think?

And just because I am skinny, this does not mean that I am in any way, shape or form, in shape. Common misconception. Skinny girls can also have cellulite (I’m sure I just boosted your confidence by about 10- you’re welcome). True story. I’m not saying this is in fact me, rather, something I read…somewhere. Sure, sounds good. And please, don't roll your eyes when I make comments about myself wanting to get in shape. I'm allowed to make comments about myself. You, rather, are not allowed to say a word. It's just poor taste. And it's just like when you don't talk nicely about your family. You're allowed to do that. Your significant other, not so much. 

What’s really strange to me is when people comment about my weight. I’ve had people tell me “Oh you’re so skinny”, Really? I wasn't aware…How am I supposed to react to that? “Umm…thanks…sorry you’re not…?” Awkward turtle. Times 2…that's like a billion awkward turtles or something, eh, you know how much I hate math, just go with it. 

My point is this:  Don’t judge. And, surely don't comment. Thus, the whole purpose of this blog. You have no idea what others have to deal with. My dealings just happen to be with laser skin resurfacing, acne medication, an overpriced specialty foot store, and the fact that I will never have proper air flow in my left nostril. However, what I lack in physical equilibrium, I surely make up for in witty dialogue. After all, I've gotta have something on my side, right?

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